boo-boo

I was on my way to the grocery store last weekend, when someone started walking along side of me. At first I didn’t think anything of it because it was a beautiful day and the streets were really crowded. Then I heard:

Excuse me BooBoo, can I talk to you for a minute.

I was shocked that someone was actually using “BooBoo” as a term of endearment and I slowly turned my head to see if it was a joke. The man walking next to me was staring at me, dead serious and from the looks of it, incredibly high.

I smiled and said “no thank you.” His response was

“It’s ’cause I’m black, right?”

Immediately about 5 different responses flooded my head:

What the fuck are you talking about, I’m black myself.

No, it’s because you just called me BooBoo

No, it’s because I’m just not interested.

No, it’s because you look like you’re high as fuck.

No, it’s because you look like you have no job, no education, and hang out at the corner store all day.

Instead I briefly paused, took a deep breath, and kept it moving. As I walked away I hear “yeah, it’s ’cause I’m black.”

Meanwhile, in the Tinderverse, here are some gems that either myself or my friends have come across:

tinder guy 3

tinder guy1

tinder guy2

Keep it classy fellas…..

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Tinder update

Here are some of my Tinder exchanges so far….

Guy 1

Him: Hi

Me: Hello

Him: How are you today?

Me: I’m great, how are you?

Him: Can’t complain nice weather out…are you black or white?

Really? The first thing after “how are you” is “are you black or white”??

Next.

Guy 2

Him: your hair is dope

Me: thanks, I was thinking the same thing about yours!

Him: wyd on this rainy day?

Me: homework unfortunately, what about you?

Him: I probably should be doing that…I’m clean and eat and watch TV…where do you live?

Him: Come drink wine with me then let’s cuddle and pass out….that would be perfect too.

Me: Well, I don’t even know you so that would be strange.

Him: I’m guessing we’d learn about each other before passing out.

Me: I’d have to learn about a person before getting in their bed…or couch…or apartment in general.

yeah…next.

Guy 3

Him: Hey how are you?

Me: I’m great, how are you?

Him: I’m good enjoying this cool weather here.

Me: Yeah me too! I love the fall.

one day later…

Him: Hey how are you doing?

Me: Fantastic. You?

5 hours later…

Him: I’m great.

5 days later…

Him: Hey how was your weekend?

At this point I’m kind of over it. So I don’t respond.

one week later…

Him: Hey how are you doing.

I decide to give this conversation one last chance.

Me: I’m doing well. What about you?

Him: I’m good. I sprained my ankle running but I’m good.

Me: oh that sucks, I’m sorry to hear that

Him: It’s ok..what are you up to today?

Me: I’m working right now. I have a few things to take care of after work, then just heading home. What about you?

still nothing…

I’m done. If we can’t even get past “how are you” on Tinder, how are we going to have a conversation over a drink or a meal?

Next.