Dick Pics

I found this Gem on Huffington Post today, and it’s definitely worth 3:46 minutes of your time. 

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a man asks me to ‘send them a pic,’ especially when I just met them. I don’t send pictures of myself via text,or over internet in general, and this is why.

Just as bad as being asked for pictures…is getting unsolicited photos sent to me. Luckily, I’ve never gotten and ‘dick pics’ sent to me, just random Selfies (side note: Selfies are very rarely a good look for a man. Like almost never), but I think I’m in the minority. Most women I know have received at least one dick pic, and I can’t help but wonder what the hell is going through these men’s minds when they send it.

Do they think we find it sexy? (in all fairness – I’m sure some women do)

Do they think that if they send us theirs, we’ll send them ours? (doubtful, but I guess it’s worth a shot)

Do they think that their dick is so beautiful and magnificent that it needs to be shared with the world, one stranger at a time? (it’s probably not)

While I can’t get into a man’s mind to find out what they are thinking as they snap, attach, and send these dick pics – this video is pretty spot on in covering all the things that go through a woman’s mind when she receives them. 

You can find the full Huffington Post article here.

 

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I love white people

I had my first date with the guy I met the other, and it was pretty uneventful.

He’s a nice guy, but some thing just seemed kind of…off.

First, he definitely didn’t seem like a 37 year old man. He came across very immature and it was very hard for him to be serious. And his way of flirting was similar to that of a 12 year old boy, except instead of pulling my hair he was poking fun of me or starting little arguments.

Lame.

The one thing that stuck out the most about the night was when he told me that he doesn’t trust White people. Considering the fact that I’m half White (a fact that he knew) and that all my family gatherings are filled with a lot of amazing, hilarious, loving, welcoming, trustworthy (white) people, I felt a little uncomfortable with the statement.

Ok VERY uncomfortable with the statement.

I don’t know what his past experiences have been like to have him feel that way, and he has the right to his opinions and feelings… but that’s definitely not a comment you should make on a first date…

I’m not one to keep my mouth shut, so we had a discussion about it. Lets just say it didn’t go so well, and I decided that it would be best if we just changed the subject.

The night continued as it had started…him being slightly awkward, starting little arguments, etc etc, until I finally grew tired of it. Literally. I was actually yawning.

So he walked me to the train, gave me a hug goodbye, and we said we’d be in touch.

To be honest, I’d be totally fine if I never saw him again.

Dear OK Cupid….you suck.

I’m seriously considering deleting my OK Cupid account, once again. The guys on there are complete LAMES! They are either too young, too old…or WAY too creepy.

I have been messaging a bit with a guy over the past few days that I thought was kind of cute. He was a little on the young side for me (25) but he was pretty funny so I figured, what the hell.

The way he spoke came across very young…kind of ‘surfer boy’ ish. But again, I ignored it. I figured, at the very least, maybe we’d end up going on a fun date.

He noticed that my profile mentioned I was a producer and asked what I produced. When I told him what network I worked for and asked him what he does for a living, his response was:

Swaggggg. I love (insert network I work for here).

Then he went on to say that he was an accountant and is now studying for the CPA exam to get certified, which is ‘hella’ stressful. And that he mostly spends his time studying and (these are his exact words) “an occasional waiter shift to earn some weed money”

I can’t.

If this is any indication of what my dating life will be like in 2014…I’m going to be 40 before I get to my 30 date.

#7…nope, nevermind

I decided to sign back up for OKCupid. I figured, at the very least, I’d get some funny message stories to share. And if I happened to get a few more dates out of it, then that’s cool too.

After a few days, I met a guy on there that I was somewhat interested in. We messaged back and forth for a couple of days and he seemed like a cool guy. We exchanged numbers and texted back and forth for a little while before he suggested we meet up for a drink. He asked to meet up for drinks after work that Friday, but I already had plans, so we settled on Sunday instead. We lived in different areas of Brooklyn, but still fairly close to each other so we decided to find a place to meet in the middle.

Then I texted him the next day, and no response.

And I haven’t heard from him since.

Yep…seriously.

I don’t get it. A (kind of) similar situation happened to my friend this weekend as well. She had a date planned with a guy on Sunday as well – a second chance date at that, considering on their first try at meeting up he had to cancel at the last-minute to pick a friend up from the hospital. They had a day and time set, just not the place yet. Ok, no big deal…except that he didn’t even reach out to her about the date until 20 minutes before they were supposed to meet. And she had reached out to him earlier that day with no response.

Seriously, though…what the f*@% is wrong with guys these days? Is it too much to ask to have someone make a plan and stick to it?

Lingo, Language, Linguistics

I just read a really good article in the NY Times called The End of Courtship?

The article begins with a story of a woman, Shani Silver, who was asked out on a ‘date’ with a man she met online. When said date night rolled around, she didn’t hear from the guy until 10:30 via a text message that read “Hey, I’m at Pub & Kitchen, want to meet up for a drink or whatever? Here with a bunch of friends from college.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle a little, because a similar situation just happened to a close friend of mine. She met a man via Tinder, and he asked her if she wanted to ‘hang out’ that weekend. When she finally heard from him regarding their hang out, he invited her out later that night with a group of his friends.

The suggestion blew both of our minds. I understand the whole idea of meeting in a public place when you first meet someone. Specially someone you meet online. But to ask a woman to come meet you and a group of your friends at a bar for your first date is a little strange. Or maybe it was that he wanted to meet her first before taking her out on a date? If that was the case…A. Be clear. Don’t make it seem like you want to go out on a date and then ask her to hang out with you and your friends. And B. why would you think it’s a good idea to hang out with a woman you’ve never met at a bar with all of your friends? How much are you going to get to know someone with all your friends there.  Talk about awkward.

While I’ve never been asked to hang out with a guy and a bunch of his buddies for our first hang out, I did go on a date with a guy recently, only to be informed a quarter of the way through that it wasn’t actually a date that we were on. We were, apparently, just ‘hanging out.’

Another time I was catching up with a guy friend of mine who asked if I was dating anyone.

Sure, I’ve been dating  a few people.

A few people?

Well yeah. You know…going on dates. I’m not seeing any one person or going on numerous dates with any one person right now, but I’m dating.

So you’ve been meeting people.

Yeah, sure. Meeting people…dating people…same thing.

Well meeting people sounds less slutty.

?????

I never said I was sleeping with them, I said dating. As in going on dates.

The terminology is so confusing!

Dating can mean anything from actively going on dates with various people, to going on numerous dates with one person, to consistently hanging out with one person.

Hanging out can mean anything from dating to hooking up. And hooking up can mean anything from kissing to sex (and everything in between).

It’s a completely different language. Unfortunately, there’s no Rosetta Stone for the current dating culture. Not even a Dating Dictionary for Dummies. So if you’re single in your 20’s or 30’s (or any age, really) you’re forced to constantly decode messages and conversations – often times without the help of voice inflection and tone because 90% of the time, ‘conversations’ are all done via text message.

Why are you single

I was reading Huffington Post today and came across this gem

This woman is so spot on!

I can’t tell you how many times my friends and I have had discussions about how incredibly annoying it is when people ask us “why are you still single” – or any variation of that question.

You’re so funny/pretty/smart/successful/etc…I don’t understand how you are still single. 

And it’s usually said with such sympathy. As if being single is like having some terrible disease that we just don’t deserve to be plagued with.

It’s equally as annoying when a guy who’s trying to hit on you says it.

I know you must have a man or a husband, because you are too fine to be single

Or even better (and yes this has been said)…

You’re pretty, smart, you have a job, and you don’t have any kids…but you’re single. What’s wrong with you?

Are.You.Kidding.Me

First of all, and I know I’ve said this before in a previous post, but it’s worth repeating.

NOTHING is wrong with me.

Second, I’m assuming that you are single as well if you’re trying to spit game to me. So are you saying that you AREN’T single? Or is it that you aren’t as good looking/successful/smart as you think I am, therefore it’s no shocker that you’re single?

Either way, no thank you.
My best friend and I decided that we were going to start responding to that question by saying:

You know, I’m not sure what the problem is. It’s so crazy. All of my dates go really well until I take the guy home and show him how I’ve decorated my future baby’s room. 

Or

Everything goes really well until I take him home and show him the wedding dress I’ve already purchased for our future wedding.

I tried it the last line with one guy and he almost shit himself. I’ve never seen a man want to run away from me so badly in my life.

It was amazing.

So let this be a warning…the next time someone tells me I’m too (fill in the blank) to be single

#6

Date #6 was with the same guy from #3 (met up after work, paid for my cab ride home, super sweet) and #4 (helped him pick out a costume, incredibly clingy, tried to make out on the street).

To be honest, I wasn’t so sure I was interested anymore after the second date. He was kind of annoying, and we just didn’t click. But he seemed like a really nice guy, so I figured I’d give it one more try. At the very least, I thought maybe we could have a ‘beneficial friendship’ type arrangement.

Hey, don’t judge.  A girl’s got needs too, you know.

So I invited him over to watch a movie and order some take out…

I’m pretty confident that that was the last night I’ll ever see him.

It’s just not going to work. I tried, I really did. But you really shouldn’t have to try so hard within the first few dates. That is supposed to be the start of the honey moon stage of a relationship. Where you think everything they say is cute and funny. And you think their quirks are adorable, not something you try to look past. That should come way later in the relationship.

So I threw in the towel. There’s just no emotional connection at all. And physically there’s nothing there (in more ways than one).

Oh well…6 down, 24 more to go…

4.5

4 1/2 months.

That’s how long it’s been since I’ve last posted.

Four.and.a.half.MONTHS!

You know when someone says they’ll call/text you back and doesn’t? And then days, weeks, etc later they call/text with a ‘hey!’ like nothing happened? Like they haven’t been MIA for the past however long?

Well I hate that.

It irritates the hell out of me.

So, while I do have a date or two to post about, I had to at least address and explain my (long) absence first.

To be honest, there hasn’t been much going on in my romantic life for me to post about. I had my second (and final) hip surgery in August, which had me mobility challenged for a month, which really put a damper on any potential dates.

(although my crutches were pretty dope…)

But I digress…

To be honest,  I was getting over some pretty shitty (and at the time, pretty recent) guy bullshit that I didn’t feel like reliving.

For the most part, I don’t take myself too seriously. And I’m all for ‘turning lemons into lemonade’, and laughing at my horrible dating experiences to entertain my friends, family, and whoever else may be reading this thing. But then there are times that things get a little too personal. When things aren’t really all that funny to me. And that’s the stuff I’m not quite willing to share.

Not yet at least.

So I guess I was in a blogging funk. I wasn’t having any new dating experiences (funny or fantastic), and I didn’t want to talk about the not so funny stuff that was going on. All of which, got me incredibly annoyed, irritated and turned off from the whole idea of blogging. I threw a bit of an (internal) temper tantrum and refused to even entertain the idea of blogging.

However, after four months (did I mention I haven’t posted in four months?), my temper tantrum has finally run its course! I put on my big girl panties and I’m going to do my best to stay on track.

So for now, I’ll say a great big I’m Sorry

…to anyone who might have been wondering where I disappeared to… but also, and mainly, to myself. Because that’s the real reason I blog anyway, right? For me. Not only as a way to do what I love (write), but also to document and laugh at my crazy experiences.

And if y’all happen to laugh along with me, even better!

I promise my next post won’t be 4.5 months from now.

misery loves company

When it comes to awkward, funny or just plain awful dates, I have stories for days!

But it doesn’t have to be ALL about me.

If you, or someone you know, has a funny / crazy / unbelievably ridiculous date or relationship story to share, please email me at:

theromanticallychallengedblog@gmail.com

Any submissions will be kept anonymous (unless asked not to) – and while I would never change your story, I do reserve the right to edit based on spelling/grammar.

That includes stories from both sexes by the way…and while I’m specifying – all sexual orientations too! I want to hear from everyone!

no (response) means no

I’m sure it’s happened to everyone (who’s tried online dating) at least once. You take the time (or build up the courage) to initiate contact with someone you find interesting, only to have them completely ignore you. You know they’ve read it, and they showed up on the list of people who’ve recently viewed your profile – so the only logical explanation is that, for whatever reason, they just aren’t interested.

And that’s ok. I have no issue with someone ignoring my message if they aren’t interested. I get the hint and move on. No big deal.

Sure, they could respond and say “sorry, not interested,” but in the world of online dating – not responding is a nicer way of saying just that (in my opinion).

No response = no thank you.

What’s NOT ok is when you continue to message that person for days, weeks, or months hoping that they’ll eventually break down and respond. It’s annoying. And a little crazy.

For example:

Sep 22, 2012 – 12:01pm
luv the hair and the smile so how is your weekend?
Oct 13, 2012 – 8:20am
i luv those eyes and smile so can u please bring both of them out when we do dinner;)) how is your weekend luv? name is (xxxxx) and i would really like to get to know u. im not on here much so if u want u can call me.
 
Nov 5, 2012 – 8:47pm
sista cleo told me that u would be that woman for me…just before she went out of business …lol so i got an extra closet for your shoes ready so u can move in the house in boston;)) hope sandy didnt make u suffer much~get @ me luv…not on here much but if u will use it u can have my cell to call or text. xxx-xxx-xxxx – (name)
 
Ok crazy.
 
Of course, the first thing I thought was “Boston?! Are you crazy?! Did you not see the Yankee’s hat in one of my pics?!
 
Then there is this:
Sep 23, 2012 – 12:21pm
Wow I am so in love with you right now by far ! lol ! I’m Trey will you take my hand love !
Sep 23, 2012 – 8:39pm
You can say Hello to me !!
Sep 23, 2012 – 8:40pm
Well I will say hello to you 1st !
Oct 24, 2012 – 12:21am
How are you doing tonite ?
Nov 3, 2012 – 9:19pm
It’s not a crime to say Hi to me love at least not in NYC ! lol !!!
Nov 10, 2012 – 8:49pm
Call me xxx-xxx-xxxx Tr**
Dec 18, 2012 – 11:50am
Serious when are going to let me take you to dinner!
Finally I had to break down and explain to him that I wasn’t interested. And, yes, I could have done that sooner. But honestly, after the first couple of messages, you’d think it would be pretty obvious.
 
And…
Sep 30, 2012 – 9:58pm
Hi I read your profile and you seem like my kind of girl I like to get to know you
Sep 30, 2012 – 11:14pm
Hi How are you? 
Oct 10, 2012 – 9:19pm
Hi you beautiful and would like to know you more.
 
Oct 11, 2012 –11:35pm
Hi How are you. 
Oct 19, 2012 – 3:38pm
hi how are you so whats your name.
Nov 3, 2012 – 10:14pm
Hi how are you.
 
This also happens to be the guy that is going to get his master’s in ‘being a doctor.’
 
 
Then there are the times that I HAVE broken it down…and they still don’t get it
 
Oct 27, 2012 – 3:50am
Beautiful lady with a pretty smile! I truly like the energy and happiness on your face 😉 How are u?
Nov 3, 2012 – 9:27pm
Hello! How are u? The beauty I see on your profile feels so good. I probably emailed u before but I think I like your profile enough to try again 🙂 Do u mind being in touch?
Nov 5, 2012 – 1:22am
How is the beauty doing?. Over the pass few weeks I came across your profile several times and each time I got the “wow” moment. The reason why I’m here clearly is to make connection with someone I strongly feel I can connect with, like, love, build a relationship . I guess it starts from these simple contact emails. I want to know more about u, hear how ur day is going, share good conversations etc.. I’m still hoping to hear from you… Will it happen? Until then have a wonderful day 🙂
Nov 7, 2012 – 10:46pm
Hello! I like the good feeling coming from your profile. You look amazingly beautiful! It would be awesome to get to know a pretty lady like you. How are u liking it here?
 
Nov 7, 2012 – 10:54pm
ME: Hi, I’m very sorry but I’m just not interested.
 
You’d think it would end there, but no. Instead of messaging me, he decides to IM me.
December 26, 2012 – 11:36:06pm: Hello!
December 26, 2012 – 11:38:51pm: How are u?
 
ME:
December 26, 2012 – 11:40:10pm: I’m sorry, I’m really not interested as I’ve said before. Please stop messaging me.
 
HIM:
December 26, 2012 – 11:40:37pm: Sorry don’t remember. ok
How do you NOT remember someone telling you they aren’t interested?
 
Then, as I was showing my friends the incessant messages over a bottle of wine, I accidentally clicked on his profile.
 
Shit.
 
A few minutes later, he sends me a message:
Liking anything about my profile?
 
Uuugh! Then a few days later:
I keep bumping into ur profile. Good luck or bad luck? 🙂 
 
And one guy passes on the traditional messaging, and goes right to IMing me. The creepy thing is that he just so happens to IM me within seconds of me signing on.
October 14, 2012
11:49:25pm: (my screen name)
11:49:26pm: supppp
11:49:47pm: how goes it tonight
11:54:23pm: nada?
October 15, 2012
8:14:00pm: hello robo (my screen name)
November 25, 2012
11:30:57pm: (my screen name) how goes it?
December 2, 2012
9:26:14pm: boo
 
 The fact that he looked like a serial killer didn’t help.
 
I have since figured out how to turn off the IM option on my account.