Dick Pics

I found this Gem on Huffington Post today, and it’s definitely worth 3:46 minutes of your time. 

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a man asks me to ‘send them a pic,’ especially when I just met them. I don’t send pictures of myself via text,or over internet in general, and this is why.

Just as bad as being asked for pictures…is getting unsolicited photos sent to me. Luckily, I’ve never gotten and ‘dick pics’ sent to me, just random Selfies (side note: Selfies are very rarely a good look for a man. Like almost never), but I think I’m in the minority. Most women I know have received at least one dick pic, and I can’t help but wonder what the hell is going through these men’s minds when they send it.

Do they think we find it sexy? (in all fairness – I’m sure some women do)

Do they think that if they send us theirs, we’ll send them ours? (doubtful, but I guess it’s worth a shot)

Do they think that their dick is so beautiful and magnificent that it needs to be shared with the world, one stranger at a time? (it’s probably not)

While I can’t get into a man’s mind to find out what they are thinking as they snap, attach, and send these dick pics – this video is pretty spot on in covering all the things that go through a woman’s mind when she receives them. 

You can find the full Huffington Post article here.

 

Dear OK Cupid….you suck.

I’m seriously considering deleting my OK Cupid account, once again. The guys on there are complete LAMES! They are either too young, too old…or WAY too creepy.

I have been messaging a bit with a guy over the past few days that I thought was kind of cute. He was a little on the young side for me (25) but he was pretty funny so I figured, what the hell.

The way he spoke came across very young…kind of ‘surfer boy’ ish. But again, I ignored it. I figured, at the very least, maybe we’d end up going on a fun date.

He noticed that my profile mentioned I was a producer and asked what I produced. When I told him what network I worked for and asked him what he does for a living, his response was:

Swaggggg. I love (insert network I work for here).

Then he went on to say that he was an accountant and is now studying for the CPA exam to get certified, which is ‘hella’ stressful. And that he mostly spends his time studying and (these are his exact words) “an occasional waiter shift to earn some weed money”

I can’t.

If this is any indication of what my dating life will be like in 2014…I’m going to be 40 before I get to my 30 date.

#7…nope, nevermind

I decided to sign back up for OKCupid. I figured, at the very least, I’d get some funny message stories to share. And if I happened to get a few more dates out of it, then that’s cool too.

After a few days, I met a guy on there that I was somewhat interested in. We messaged back and forth for a couple of days and he seemed like a cool guy. We exchanged numbers and texted back and forth for a little while before he suggested we meet up for a drink. He asked to meet up for drinks after work that Friday, but I already had plans, so we settled on Sunday instead. We lived in different areas of Brooklyn, but still fairly close to each other so we decided to find a place to meet in the middle.

Then I texted him the next day, and no response.

And I haven’t heard from him since.

Yep…seriously.

I don’t get it. A (kind of) similar situation happened to my friend this weekend as well. She had a date planned with a guy on Sunday as well – a second chance date at that, considering on their first try at meeting up he had to cancel at the last-minute to pick a friend up from the hospital. They had a day and time set, just not the place yet. Ok, no big deal…except that he didn’t even reach out to her about the date until 20 minutes before they were supposed to meet. And she had reached out to him earlier that day with no response.

Seriously, though…what the f*@% is wrong with guys these days? Is it too much to ask to have someone make a plan and stick to it?

Brunch and Dinner

I know it’s been a while – and I apologize. It’s been a crazy few weeks – vacation, work, my 30th Birthday, and an upcoming surgery…busy busy busy.

But that’s not the point of this blog, so here is a couple of ‘interesting’ messages I’ve received recently…

Can u be my dinner date with my parents. I’d like to introduce u

You don’t even know me. Why would you want to introduce me to your parents??

I want to get to know you and they come in town at the end of the month, so it’s not immediate.

10 minutes later…

So that’s a no right?

Ya think?

And then there was this gem…

Hi,
I am sure you get lots of emails every day but I figured if I’m going to message anyone on this site it should be you. You’re definitely my type: curvy, cute & sexy at the same time and you’ve the greatest smile. To be honest I’m turned on by submissive, sensual women who enjoy being dominated in bed, or tied up during sex. I’m not just looking for sex, really just a brunch partner would be fine ( love brunch ) And I think we would make good cuddle buddies when we have time off from our busy lives.
-Jerry

What the….

ain’t nobody got time for that

image courtesy of bing image search

image courtesy of bing image search

So, apparently the guy from my same ol’ same ol’ post thought he could trick me by changing his screen name (same picture though) and sending me a new message.

image courtesy of bing image search

image courtesy of bing image search

sigh…

After his second attempt I told him, for the second time, that I wasn’t interested.

You’ve messaged me a couple of times and I said I wasn’t interested. But thanks.

He disabled his account and that was that.

Then, this morning I received a message from the same dude with a different screen name

Hi …my pants are on my hip , I have a career in Law Enforcement , I like to make people laugh as well … Lets see if we can make a connection … Ok?

No. Not Ok. Not Ok. NOT. OH. KAY.

For some reason, I feel like I’m in the drive-thru scene from Dude…Where’s My Car?…

 

So, I told him no – for the third time. A little more directly.

Listen – using a new screen name isn’t fooling me. This is now the third time I’m telling you I’m not interested. No means no dude, leave me alone.

His response?

Wow you actually counted ..I’m impressed .. 

Psycho.

I responded

Clearly, I’m not impressed.

Then blocked him.

same ol’ same ol’

Why is it, that even when you tell someone you aren’t interested – they keep messaging you? I never understood how this happens. They can’t even use the excuse that they didn’t realize they had messaged you before, because (at least on OK Cupid) it tells you when you last messaged that person.

Clear as day. Right on a person’s profile page, fairly close to the ‘message’ button.

February 23, 2013

Hi …lets get to know each other .is that ok ?

March 2, 2013

Hi …Lets get to know each other …is that ok ?

Yep, pretty much the same message. This time I decided to just respond and let him know I wasn’t interested.

Me: I’m sorry I’m not interested. But thanks for the message!

Him: No worries …Good luck on Cupid ..

I said thanks, and didn’t think much else of it. I figured that was that.

March 15, 2013

Hi ..I like ur music and movie list ..have some things in common ..Lets get to know each other is that ok ?

I just don’t get it.

les miserables

The other day I came across the profile of a guy who seemed like a cool guy. He was good-looking, his profile was funny and a little sarcastic, which I liked. He mentioned something in his profile about not messaging him if you don’t like pineapple, which I thought was kind of funny, so I sent him a message that said something along the lines of: “there are people in the world who don’t like pineapple? What is wrong with them?!?” before saying hello and introducing myself (I can’t seem to find the actual message that I sent him for some reason).

This is his response:

Yeah I know rite so damn obnoxious..but okcupid is full of such fuckery ie:self hating Asians that Do not date other Asians ,Stuck up Midwestern hipsters .. Or travel snobs WTF ! Haha seriously they went rock climbing in Peru/ hangliding in India ,and there such an amazing person / Worldtraveller that they need to go to a site for a date?! Hahah yeah ok well now that my rant is over..and that being said “how you doin?!” haha oh Basil is a dude but he’s a big chicken shit scardy cat but I love him cause he’s so dang kool. So what’s your deal?

I was a little turned off by his message. First of all, he came off so angry! Second – the spelling / punctuation mistakes irked me slightly. And third – take it easy killer. I’m on this site looking for a date (as are you). I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t make me any less of an amazing person.

I didn’t respond right away because

A: I wasn’t sure if I wanted to respond to this guy after this message and

B: I got a little sidetracked with work/life/etc. and wasn’t online much.

After debating it for a few days, I decided to write back and see how his next response went. Who knows, maybe he was just having a bad day. Or maybe I mistook what he meant to be a funny/sarcastic message as an angry rant. So I said:

I.Suck.I’m so sorry! Shit has been crazy the past couple of weeks so I haven’t been online much and when I was online it was just to check my messages – which I haven’t responded to anyway so I don’t know why I bothered coming online.Anyway…I’m really sorry about that.
Basil huh? I love his name.My deal. Hmm. I’m not sure how to answer that lol. I work in TV, typically train in Krav Maga – although I’ve been out for a month with an injury that I’m trying to get to the bottom of (part of what has been keeping me busy – a million Dr’s appointments). I live in BK – just moved here a year ago and I love it. I used to live in the BX (hated it), and White Plains (hated it more). My family is from Upstate NY so I go there to visit at least once every other month.So what’s your deal? lol.
He responded:
Kool beans no worries 🙂 . Yep Basil is a pretty chill chihuahua ,I’m planing to get a tattoo of him wearing a Mexican Wrestling Mask hahaha.I’ve already drawn it up it looks Bad Ass!! Any way As for work Im an Artist ,mostly of the flesh and I also do some freelance Illustration.Are you part Jehude? Because Krav Maga was developed mainly in Israel.Just wondering ,so you’re originally from Upstate N.Y. I’ve lived in poughkeepsie,Statsburg, and briefly in Hyde Park. Any way you prob won’t read,or respond to this for weeks but it’s koolio :)..Anyhoo hit me back whenever you feel up to it… I’m getting super focused on this Documentary I’m watching on channel 13 about Iranian Americans.Laters
17 minutes later, he responded again…
Dang I said “anyway” three times in a row..my bad for the random pot-head moment.. Rite now I’m living in Nasty old Bedstuy it’s the Pit’s ! I’m originally from the Sheepshead bay area of but I’ve lived all over the Brooklyn and tattooed in borough in NYC and in jersey/Boston blah blah , I’ve slowed down the traveling and convention circuit aspect of the business.I’ve been doing it for so long it seems lol …hey if you’ve seen one Butterfly on a drunken Lady’s butt cheesk ya seen em’ all! My passion is actually not inking ,I’ve been working on a childrens book for the past two years,fleshing out the characters and tying in the diff side stories.I didn’t mean for it to be so elaborate but the more I dove into the concept and working on the drawings when I’m not tattooing ….. Oof it’s alot of work lol
The spelling mistakes are killing me at this point, and I’m not quite sure what Jehude means. I’m guessing he meant Jewish (I’m starting to notice he’s a bit focused on race). I’m also a little bummed he bashed Bedstuy, since that is where I live as well, but I was intrigued by the children’s book comment – mainly because I am very interested in one day writing a children’s book as well, so I kept going.
Oh ok cool. Krav maga is an Israeli martial art but I’m not Israeli. I’m in Bedstuy too. You don’t like it here? I love it! A children’s book huh? I wrote one in college (never published) but I would love to publish one, one day. Very cool!
He responds:
Na it’s pretty wack in bedstuy.No resturants or any decent bars other than the Myrtle ave strip and even that’s contrived.The neighborhood is just black or white… No grey area. It’s either Hipster hell and bad hygiene 0r Ghetto black and dangerous lol. I saved my cheesy but mild mannered neighbor from two houses away when 3 young black kids attacked him like vultures for his skinny bike.needles too say 5swings of the bat an all was peacefully in the valley.I had a busted lip but no worse for ware &steve kept his bike but didn’t jump in to help me , it was a wacky nite.living in sheapshead bay Which is basically a large Italian/Russian American neighborhood with some smaller pockets of Asian /Hispanic and middle eastern.each ethnicity had a local resturant and specific ethnic specialty stores. Here in bedstuy it’s kinda shity to say the least.However one plus is I live rite by (*insert name of a liquor store here*) so that’s kinda dope to have a kool local liquor store. What do you like about Dead-stuy ?
I can’t. His constant references to race kill me. His spelling and punctuation SUCK and he’s so angry and negative. I enjoy a good bitch session as much as the next one, but this is too much. He has yet to say one positive thing (except maybe about his dog ).

I showed his messages to a friend over dinner and drinks the other night, and we were poking fun of how angry this guy seems. I jokingly said that I really wanted to say ‘tell me why ya mad son’ after his first comment. She thought that was hilarious and convinced me to send it – although after a few drinks it didn’t take much convincing. My exact words:

oh ok. wow. tell me why ya’ mad, son

I haven’t heard back from him yet.

misery loves company

When it comes to awkward, funny or just plain awful dates, I have stories for days!

But it doesn’t have to be ALL about me.

If you, or someone you know, has a funny / crazy / unbelievably ridiculous date or relationship story to share, please email me at:

theromanticallychallengedblog@gmail.com

Any submissions will be kept anonymous (unless asked not to) – and while I would never change your story, I do reserve the right to edit based on spelling/grammar.

That includes stories from both sexes by the way…and while I’m specifying – all sexual orientations too! I want to hear from everyone!

no (response) means no

I’m sure it’s happened to everyone (who’s tried online dating) at least once. You take the time (or build up the courage) to initiate contact with someone you find interesting, only to have them completely ignore you. You know they’ve read it, and they showed up on the list of people who’ve recently viewed your profile – so the only logical explanation is that, for whatever reason, they just aren’t interested.

And that’s ok. I have no issue with someone ignoring my message if they aren’t interested. I get the hint and move on. No big deal.

Sure, they could respond and say “sorry, not interested,” but in the world of online dating – not responding is a nicer way of saying just that (in my opinion).

No response = no thank you.

What’s NOT ok is when you continue to message that person for days, weeks, or months hoping that they’ll eventually break down and respond. It’s annoying. And a little crazy.

For example:

Sep 22, 2012 – 12:01pm
luv the hair and the smile so how is your weekend?
Oct 13, 2012 – 8:20am
i luv those eyes and smile so can u please bring both of them out when we do dinner;)) how is your weekend luv? name is (xxxxx) and i would really like to get to know u. im not on here much so if u want u can call me.
 
Nov 5, 2012 – 8:47pm
sista cleo told me that u would be that woman for me…just before she went out of business …lol so i got an extra closet for your shoes ready so u can move in the house in boston;)) hope sandy didnt make u suffer much~get @ me luv…not on here much but if u will use it u can have my cell to call or text. xxx-xxx-xxxx – (name)
 
Ok crazy.
 
Of course, the first thing I thought was “Boston?! Are you crazy?! Did you not see the Yankee’s hat in one of my pics?!
 
Then there is this:
Sep 23, 2012 – 12:21pm
Wow I am so in love with you right now by far ! lol ! I’m Trey will you take my hand love !
Sep 23, 2012 – 8:39pm
You can say Hello to me !!
Sep 23, 2012 – 8:40pm
Well I will say hello to you 1st !
Oct 24, 2012 – 12:21am
How are you doing tonite ?
Nov 3, 2012 – 9:19pm
It’s not a crime to say Hi to me love at least not in NYC ! lol !!!
Nov 10, 2012 – 8:49pm
Call me xxx-xxx-xxxx Tr**
Dec 18, 2012 – 11:50am
Serious when are going to let me take you to dinner!
Finally I had to break down and explain to him that I wasn’t interested. And, yes, I could have done that sooner. But honestly, after the first couple of messages, you’d think it would be pretty obvious.
 
And…
Sep 30, 2012 – 9:58pm
Hi I read your profile and you seem like my kind of girl I like to get to know you
Sep 30, 2012 – 11:14pm
Hi How are you? 
Oct 10, 2012 – 9:19pm
Hi you beautiful and would like to know you more.
 
Oct 11, 2012 –11:35pm
Hi How are you. 
Oct 19, 2012 – 3:38pm
hi how are you so whats your name.
Nov 3, 2012 – 10:14pm
Hi how are you.
 
This also happens to be the guy that is going to get his master’s in ‘being a doctor.’
 
 
Then there are the times that I HAVE broken it down…and they still don’t get it
 
Oct 27, 2012 – 3:50am
Beautiful lady with a pretty smile! I truly like the energy and happiness on your face 😉 How are u?
Nov 3, 2012 – 9:27pm
Hello! How are u? The beauty I see on your profile feels so good. I probably emailed u before but I think I like your profile enough to try again 🙂 Do u mind being in touch?
Nov 5, 2012 – 1:22am
How is the beauty doing?. Over the pass few weeks I came across your profile several times and each time I got the “wow” moment. The reason why I’m here clearly is to make connection with someone I strongly feel I can connect with, like, love, build a relationship . I guess it starts from these simple contact emails. I want to know more about u, hear how ur day is going, share good conversations etc.. I’m still hoping to hear from you… Will it happen? Until then have a wonderful day 🙂
Nov 7, 2012 – 10:46pm
Hello! I like the good feeling coming from your profile. You look amazingly beautiful! It would be awesome to get to know a pretty lady like you. How are u liking it here?
 
Nov 7, 2012 – 10:54pm
ME: Hi, I’m very sorry but I’m just not interested.
 
You’d think it would end there, but no. Instead of messaging me, he decides to IM me.
December 26, 2012 – 11:36:06pm: Hello!
December 26, 2012 – 11:38:51pm: How are u?
 
ME:
December 26, 2012 – 11:40:10pm: I’m sorry, I’m really not interested as I’ve said before. Please stop messaging me.
 
HIM:
December 26, 2012 – 11:40:37pm: Sorry don’t remember. ok
How do you NOT remember someone telling you they aren’t interested?
 
Then, as I was showing my friends the incessant messages over a bottle of wine, I accidentally clicked on his profile.
 
Shit.
 
A few minutes later, he sends me a message:
Liking anything about my profile?
 
Uuugh! Then a few days later:
I keep bumping into ur profile. Good luck or bad luck? 🙂 
 
And one guy passes on the traditional messaging, and goes right to IMing me. The creepy thing is that he just so happens to IM me within seconds of me signing on.
October 14, 2012
11:49:25pm: (my screen name)
11:49:26pm: supppp
11:49:47pm: how goes it tonight
11:54:23pm: nada?
October 15, 2012
8:14:00pm: hello robo (my screen name)
November 25, 2012
11:30:57pm: (my screen name) how goes it?
December 2, 2012
9:26:14pm: boo
 
 The fact that he looked like a serial killer didn’t help.
 
I have since figured out how to turn off the IM option on my account.
 
 
 

Liar Liar…

I’m not a ‘newsy’ girl. I don’t watch it, I don’t read it, I don’t listen to it. It’s not that I don’t care it’s just…I guess I don’t care enough.

I know, I know. That’s awful. But, I’m just being honest (unlike some people…keep reading).

When I see people in the subway or on the street handing out free newspapers, I take them just because I feel bad NOT taking them. I don’t usually read them. Mainly I’ll save them and use them to wrap up books I mail out for my online paperbackswap. (Don’t judge me, it saves me a ton of money on books).

Today, as I was getting ready to use one of said newspapers (AM-NY to be exact) to wrap up a few books, the front story caught my eye:

Lying For Love…33% of city’s singles fib when looking for dates online.

Well, of course, I had to read it. It’s a very quick article (written by Sheila Anne Feeney) – you should take a look when you have a second.

Basically, it states that Woman are more likely to lie about their age and weight, and Men are more likely to lie about their height and income.

Shocker.

Personally, I’ve been on 3 dates from OK Cupid – and only 1 of them was truthful about their height. And I’ve known a few friends who’ve dealt with this ‘little’ white online lie as well. It’s really disappointing.

Typically, I just take off a few inches from the height listed. I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.

The article also gives a list of the top 5 “most honest” cities and the top 5 ‘least honest cities’ and their most common lies.

New York and Washington D.C. make the Least Honest list for both Men and Woman.

Photo taken from the AM-NY article writen by Sheila Anne Feeney

Photo taken from the AM-NY article writen by Sheila Anne Feeney

I find it hilarious that the most common lies listed for NY Men are “everything.”

Amazing.

I’m still not quite ready to spend money on a newspaper, but I think I’ll actually give those free ones a read from now on!

And speaking of lying online…this sounds a little sketchy to me.

summary

I feel like if you were on your way to becoming a doctor, saying you were in college getting your masters degree “in being a doctor” probably isn’t how you’d word it.

Maybe I’m wrong. But I think I’ll go with my gut on that one.