Why are you single

I was reading Huffington Post today and came across this gem

This woman is so spot on!

I can’t tell you how many times my friends and I have had discussions about how incredibly annoying it is when people ask us “why are you still single” – or any variation of that question.

You’re so funny/pretty/smart/successful/etc…I don’t understand how you are still single. 

And it’s usually said with such sympathy. As if being single is like having some terrible disease that we just don’t deserve to be plagued with.

It’s equally as annoying when a guy who’s trying to hit on you says it.

I know you must have a man or a husband, because you are too fine to be single

Or even better (and yes this has been said)…

You’re pretty, smart, you have a job, and you don’t have any kids…but you’re single. What’s wrong with you?

Are.You.Kidding.Me

First of all, and I know I’ve said this before in a previous post, but it’s worth repeating.

NOTHING is wrong with me.

Second, I’m assuming that you are single as well if you’re trying to spit game to me. So are you saying that you AREN’T single? Or is it that you aren’t as good looking/successful/smart as you think I am, therefore it’s no shocker that you’re single?

Either way, no thank you.
My best friend and I decided that we were going to start responding to that question by saying:

You know, I’m not sure what the problem is. It’s so crazy. All of my dates go really well until I take the guy home and show him how I’ve decorated my future baby’s room. 

Or

Everything goes really well until I take him home and show him the wedding dress I’ve already purchased for our future wedding.

I tried it the last line with one guy and he almost shit himself. I’ve never seen a man want to run away from me so badly in my life.

It was amazing.

So let this be a warning…the next time someone tells me I’m too (fill in the blank) to be single

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