Train Shane

I am not a morning person.

So when I used to live in White Plains, getting to work in Manhattan by 9 was no easy task for me. (Let’s be honest, even now, when I live in Brooklyn 25 minutes from work and don’t have to be in until 10 – I STILL have a hard time getting there on time. But I digress…)

One morning, hell must have frozen over, because I actually made it to the train in time to catch the EARLY train to work! The train conductor came by to check everyone’s tickets and as he got to me I looked up to see a VERY handsome man looking back at me.

Usually, the train conductors were old(er) men, unattractive men. But not this guy. He was tall, strong jaw line, nice shoulders and a great smile. He looked like he was in his late 20’s or early 30’s. As he checked my ticket, he winked at me and I could feel my cheeks turn red. At the next stop, he walked past again and we exchanged flirty smiles.

I was on an express train and there weren’t many stops left. So, I dug into my purse, wrote my name and number down on a piece of paper, and handed it to him the next time he walked past.

Unfortunately, I forgot to take my headphones out so I have no idea what he said to me as he took the piece of paper out of my hand. I just smiled and nodded.

Yeah, smooth..I know.

He waved to me as I got off the train, and I had a text from him before I made it to work.

I took that as a good sign.

He said he’d give me a call later that night…and he actually did.

Great sign.

We spoke for a while about nothing in particular – where he’s from, where I’m from, etc. He spoke a lot about the gym, and how much he liked to go work out, which I didn’t think too much of. Nothing wrong with wanted to stay healthy and fit.

Shortly after we hung up, he texted me a picture of himself…in the mirror…without a shirt on.

Bad sign. VERY BAD SIGN. Ugh… 

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and continued to talk to him for a few days via text and phone. About a week later, we decided to meet up for and early dinner after work.

As we’re looking over the menu, I mention that I might get french fries. Then he says that he can’t have Fries. I thought maybe it had something to do with an allergy so I asked why.

Oh..I’m just on a diet. I’m not getting the results I want from the Gym, so I have to turn it up a notch.

Oh ok.

But you can have fries if you want.

Oh I know I can. But thanks.

Towards the end of our meal, somehow we got on the topic of children. Not having children together…but just the topic of having children in general. I honestly don’t even remember how we got on the subject. But I do remember him saying:

Yeah, my friends always joke with me because I’m so into fitness. They always say ‘what are you going to do when you get married and have kids? What if your wife doesn’t lose the weight?’ And I just tell them that I’ll make her go to the gym.

Huh?

Well, you can’t make her go to the gym.

Well no, but I’ll just put those magazines all over the house with the really hot girls on the cover so she’ll feel bad about herself and it will force her to go.

What the

I had to quickly compose myself in order to refrain from cussin’ him out.

Instead I said

Um. Wow. Are you serious?

Yeah!

You realize that’s mentally and emotionally abusive, right?

I mean, I’d go with her!

That’s not the point..ugh forget it.

Check please.

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