**This is not a post to debate religion. I’m not knocking anyone’s choices or beliefs – just sharing a funny experience I had with someone who’s beliefs (both religiously and generally) are COMPLETELY opposite of mine.**
A couple of years ago, my roommate tried to hook me up with a guy she knew from High School.
Apparently, she ran into him the previous weekend and he asked her if she had any ‘hot, single friends’ she could hook him up with, and she thought of me. I was a little skeptical, but I reluctantly agreed to let her give him my contact info.
5 minutes later I had a Facebook message from him and a date set up for that following Sunday. For the few days leading up to our date, I noticed a lot of religious posts on his Facebook page. Apparently he was VERY involved in his Church, and ran a Youth Ministry group there.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am FAR from religious. I don’t go to church unless it’s for a wedding or a funeral, and I’m not even sure I believe in God. Not that I’m knocking people who do. I have many friends who are incredibly religious. I respect their beliefs and they respect mine. Simple as that.
But when it comes to being in a relationship with someone who is incredibly religious – that’s a different story. I’m pretty sure that would NEVER work out. But since I didn’t even know what his beliefs were exactly, I figured I could at least go on one date with the guy.
We met up on a Sunday evening to go bowling. We bowled a couple of games, had a few laughs and overall had a pretty decent time. After we finished up our second game he suggested we go to Starbucks to talk for a little bit. I’m not really a coffee drinker and I was kind of ready to go home, but it was still early so I agreed.
After we ordered our drinks, we went outside and to sit down and talk. The conversation was going alright (aka safe and generic) until he asked me about my religion.
I don’t practice a religion. What about you?
He kind of stared off into space for a moment, and I swore I saw a twinkle in his eye as he said:
I just…(dramatic exhale)…love….God!
I tried to fight back a giggle when I said
Oh ok, that’s nice.
He went on to tell me about his involvement in his Church. How he goes a few times a week, heads the Youth Ministry Group, and plays an instrument for the Church choir (I can’t remember which one). Then it started to rain, so we headed inside. To be honest, I was a little turned off at this point and well aware that this probably wouldn’t work as more than a friendship. But I had a Pumpkin Spice Latte to finish (terrible idea at 8pm), so I headed inside.
We started talking about the places we’ve traveled to, and some of the places we’d each like to travel to one day. He mentioned California, and I told him that I really wanted to go to San Diego and San Francisco one day. He said
Yeah, I don’t want to go to San Francisco. There are a lot of Gay people there.
Uh..OK. Well there are a lot of Gay people everywhere. Do you have something against people who are Gay??
No, I don’t care. I just don’t like when they flaunt it.
When they flaunt it??
Yeah. Like when they’re all flamboyant and stuff. I don’t like that.
Umm…I’m pretty sure when someone acts like that, they’re just being themselves. I don’t think anyone is flaunting anything.
I just don’t like it.
Now, my lack of interest in him has nothing to do with his religion and everything to do with the fact that I have no tolerance for ignorance.
To me, not liking someone because of their sexual orientation (or the fact that they are ‘flaunting it’ by being ‘flamboyant’) is the same thing as not liking someone because of the color of their skin. I have no room for people like that in my life. So, I ended the date shortly after that conversation.
He texted me a few days later, and I told him that I didn’t think we’d be a good match.
A few days later, he called me to try to convince me that I was wrong, and we ended up getting into a very heated discussion. His opinions about Gay men came up again, and again, he claimed that he had nothing against Gay people he just didn’t like when they ‘flaunt’ it. At this point I just wished he would stop flaunting his stupidity.
I just don’t want to hear about all the men they’re sleeping with.
But it’s OK for a straight man to act extra macho / alpha male and talk about all the ‘bitches they’re fucking’?
Yeah, well that’s different.
smh…I just can’t with this guy.
He then went on to say a bunch of other ridiculous things that I can’t remember because it was over a year ago, and it was too absurd to stick in my memory. Eventually I got so disgusted and annoyed with him that I ended up yelling
You know the reason we won’t work is because I think that you’re really really stupid! The things that come out of your mouth actually make my skin crawl. You make me sick to my stomach.
Then I hung up.
Of course, it makes total sense that he’s reached out to me 3 times since then to hang out.
Oh…that doesn’t make sense to you?
Yeah, me either.