Train Shane

I am not a morning person.

So when I used to live in White Plains, getting to work in Manhattan by 9 was no easy task for me. (Let’s be honest, even now, when I live in Brooklyn 25 minutes from work and don’t have to be in until 10 – I STILL have a hard time getting there on time. But I digress…)

One morning, hell must have frozen over, because I actually made it to the train in time to catch the EARLY train to work! The train conductor came by to check everyone’s tickets and as he got to me I looked up to see a VERY handsome man looking back at me.

Usually, the train conductors were old(er) men, unattractive men. But not this guy. He was tall, strong jaw line, nice shoulders and a great smile. He looked like he was in his late 20’s or early 30’s. As he checked my ticket, he winked at me and I could feel my cheeks turn red. At the next stop, he walked past again and we exchanged flirty smiles.

I was on an express train and there weren’t many stops left. So, I dug into my purse, wrote my name and number down on a piece of paper, and handed it to him the next time he walked past.

Unfortunately, I forgot to take my headphones out so I have no idea what he said to me as he took the piece of paper out of my hand. I just smiled and nodded.

Yeah, smooth..I know.

He waved to me as I got off the train, and I had a text from him before I made it to work.

I took that as a good sign.

He said he’d give me a call later that night…and he actually did.

Great sign.

We spoke for a while about nothing in particular – where he’s from, where I’m from, etc. He spoke a lot about the gym, and how much he liked to go work out, which I didn’t think too much of. Nothing wrong with wanted to stay healthy and fit.

Shortly after we hung up, he texted me a picture of himself…in the mirror…without a shirt on.

Bad sign. VERY BAD SIGN. Ugh… 

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and continued to talk to him for a few days via text and phone. About a week later, we decided to meet up for and early dinner after work.

As we’re looking over the menu, I mention that I might get french fries. Then he says that he can’t have Fries. I thought maybe it had something to do with an allergy so I asked why.

Oh..I’m just on a diet. I’m not getting the results I want from the Gym, so I have to turn it up a notch.

Oh ok.

But you can have fries if you want.

Oh I know I can. But thanks.

Towards the end of our meal, somehow we got on the topic of children. Not having children together…but just the topic of having children in general. I honestly don’t even remember how we got on the subject. But I do remember him saying:

Yeah, my friends always joke with me because I’m so into fitness. They always say ‘what are you going to do when you get married and have kids? What if your wife doesn’t lose the weight?’ And I just tell them that I’ll make her go to the gym.


Well, you can’t make her go to the gym.

Well no, but I’ll just put those magazines all over the house with the really hot girls on the cover so she’ll feel bad about herself and it will force her to go.

What the

I had to quickly compose myself in order to refrain from cussin’ him out.

Instead I said

Um. Wow. Are you serious?


You realize that’s mentally and emotionally abusive, right?

I mean, I’d go with her!

That’s not the point..ugh forget it.

Check please.


ignorance is bliss…?

**This is not a post to debate religion. I’m not knocking anyone’s choices or beliefs – just sharing a funny experience I had with someone who’s beliefs (both religiously and generally) are COMPLETELY opposite of mine.**

A couple of years ago, my roommate tried to hook me up with a guy she knew from High School.

Apparently, she ran into him the previous weekend and he asked her if she had any ‘hot, single friends’ she could hook him up with, and she thought of me. I was a little skeptical, but I reluctantly agreed to let her give him my contact info.

5 minutes later I had a Facebook message from him and a date set up for that following Sunday. For the few days leading up to our date, I noticed a lot of religious posts on his Facebook page. Apparently he was VERY involved in his Church, and ran a Youth Ministry group there.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am FAR from religious. I don’t go to church unless it’s for a wedding or a funeral, and I’m not even sure I believe in God. Not that I’m knocking people who do. I have many friends who are incredibly religious. I respect their beliefs and they respect mine. Simple as that.

But when it comes to being in a relationship with someone who is incredibly religious – that’s a different story. I’m pretty sure that would NEVER work out. But since I didn’t even know what his beliefs were exactly, I figured I could at least go on one date with the guy.

We met up on a Sunday evening to go bowling. We bowled a couple of games, had a few laughs and overall had a pretty decent time. After we finished up our second game he suggested we go to Starbucks to talk for a little bit. I’m not really a coffee drinker and I was kind of ready to go home, but it was still early so I agreed.

After we ordered our drinks, we went outside and to sit down and talk. The conversation was going alright (aka safe and generic) until he asked me about my religion.

I don’t practice a religion. What about you?

He kind of stared off into space for a moment, and I swore I saw a twinkle in his eye as he said:

I just…(dramatic exhale)…love….God!

I tried to fight back a giggle when I said

Oh ok, that’s nice.

He went on to tell me about his involvement in his Church. How he goes a few times a week, heads the Youth Ministry Group, and plays an instrument for the Church choir (I can’t remember which one). Then it started to rain, so we headed inside. To be honest, I was a little turned off at this point and well aware that this probably wouldn’t work as more than a friendship. But I had a Pumpkin Spice Latte to finish (terrible idea at 8pm), so I headed inside.

We started talking about the places we’ve traveled to, and some of the places we’d each like to travel to one day. He mentioned California, and I told him that I really wanted to go to San Diego and San Francisco one day. He said

Yeah, I don’t want to go to San Francisco. There are a lot of Gay people there.

image courtesy of google image search

image courtesy of google image search

Uh..OK. Well there are a lot of Gay people everywhere. Do you have something against people who are Gay??

No, I don’t care. I just don’t like when they flaunt it.

When they flaunt it??

Yeah. Like when they’re all flamboyant and stuff. I don’t like that.

Umm…I’m pretty sure when someone acts like that, they’re just being themselves. I don’t think anyone is flaunting anything.

I just don’t like it.

Now, my lack of interest in him has nothing to do with his religion and everything to do with the fact that I have no tolerance for ignorance.


To me, not liking someone because of their sexual orientation (or the fact that they are ‘flaunting it’ by being ‘flamboyant’) is the same thing as not liking someone because of the color of their skin. I have no room for people like that in my life. So, I ended the date shortly after that conversation.

He texted me a few days later, and I told him that I didn’t think we’d be a good match.

A few days later, he called me to try to convince me that I was wrong, and we ended up getting into a very heated discussion. His opinions about Gay men came up again, and again, he claimed that he had nothing against Gay people he just didn’t like when they ‘flaunt’ it. At this point I just wished he would stop flaunting his stupidity.

I just don’t want to hear about all the men they’re sleeping with.

But it’s OK for a straight man to act extra macho / alpha male and talk about all the ‘bitches they’re fucking’?

Yeah, well that’s different.

smh…I just can’t with this guy.

He then went on to say a bunch of other ridiculous things that I can’t remember because it was over a year ago, and it was too absurd to stick in my memory. Eventually I got so disgusted and annoyed with him that I ended up yelling

You know the reason we won’t work is because I think that you’re really really stupid! The things that come out of your mouth actually make my skin crawl. You make me sick to my stomach.

Then I hung up.

Of course, it makes total sense that he’s reached out to me 3 times since then to hang out.

Oh…that doesn’t make sense to you?

Yeah, me either.