les miserables

The other day I came across the profile of a guy who seemed like a cool guy. He was good-looking, his profile was funny and a little sarcastic, which I liked. He mentioned something in his profile about not messaging him if you don’t like pineapple, which I thought was kind of funny, so I sent him a message that said something along the lines of: “there are people in the world who don’t like pineapple? What is wrong with them?!?” before saying hello and introducing myself (I can’t seem to find the actual message that I sent him for some reason).

This is his response:

Yeah I know rite so damn obnoxious..but okcupid is full of such fuckery ie:self hating Asians that Do not date other Asians ,Stuck up Midwestern hipsters .. Or travel snobs WTF ! Haha seriously they went rock climbing in Peru/ hangliding in India ,and there such an amazing person / Worldtraveller that they need to go to a site for a date?! Hahah yeah ok well now that my rant is over..and that being said “how you doin?!” haha oh Basil is a dude but he’s a big chicken shit scardy cat but I love him cause he’s so dang kool. So what’s your deal?

I was a little turned off by his message. First of all, he came off so angry! Second – the spelling / punctuation mistakes irked me slightly. And third – take it easy killer. I’m on this site looking for a date (as are you). I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t make me any less of an amazing person.

I didn’t respond right away because

A: I wasn’t sure if I wanted to respond to this guy after this message and

B: I got a little sidetracked with work/life/etc. and wasn’t online much.

After debating it for a few days, I decided to write back and see how his next response went. Who knows, maybe he was just having a bad day. Or maybe I mistook what he meant to be a funny/sarcastic message as an angry rant. So I said:

I.Suck.I’m so sorry! Shit has been crazy the past couple of weeks so I haven’t been online much and when I was online it was just to check my messages – which I haven’t responded to anyway so I don’t know why I bothered coming online.Anyway…I’m really sorry about that.
Basil huh? I love his name.My deal. Hmm. I’m not sure how to answer that lol. I work in TV, typically train in Krav Maga – although I’ve been out for a month with an injury that I’m trying to get to the bottom of (part of what has been keeping me busy – a million Dr’s appointments). I live in BK – just moved here a year ago and I love it. I used to live in the BX (hated it), and White Plains (hated it more). My family is from Upstate NY so I go there to visit at least once every other month.So what’s your deal? lol.
He responded:
Kool beans no worries 🙂 . Yep Basil is a pretty chill chihuahua ,I’m planing to get a tattoo of him wearing a Mexican Wrestling Mask hahaha.I’ve already drawn it up it looks Bad Ass!! Any way As for work Im an Artist ,mostly of the flesh and I also do some freelance Illustration.Are you part Jehude? Because Krav Maga was developed mainly in Israel.Just wondering ,so you’re originally from Upstate N.Y. I’ve lived in poughkeepsie,Statsburg, and briefly in Hyde Park. Any way you prob won’t read,or respond to this for weeks but it’s koolio :)..Anyhoo hit me back whenever you feel up to it… I’m getting super focused on this Documentary I’m watching on channel 13 about Iranian Americans.Laters
17 minutes later, he responded again…
Dang I said “anyway” three times in a row..my bad for the random pot-head moment.. Rite now I’m living in Nasty old Bedstuy it’s the Pit’s ! I’m originally from the Sheepshead bay area of but I’ve lived all over the Brooklyn and tattooed in borough in NYC and in jersey/Boston blah blah , I’ve slowed down the traveling and convention circuit aspect of the business.I’ve been doing it for so long it seems lol …hey if you’ve seen one Butterfly on a drunken Lady’s butt cheesk ya seen em’ all! My passion is actually not inking ,I’ve been working on a childrens book for the past two years,fleshing out the characters and tying in the diff side stories.I didn’t mean for it to be so elaborate but the more I dove into the concept and working on the drawings when I’m not tattooing ….. Oof it’s alot of work lol
The spelling mistakes are killing me at this point, and I’m not quite sure what Jehude means. I’m guessing he meant Jewish (I’m starting to notice he’s a bit focused on race). I’m also a little bummed he bashed Bedstuy, since that is where I live as well, but I was intrigued by the children’s book comment – mainly because I am very interested in one day writing a children’s book as well, so I kept going.
Oh ok cool. Krav maga is an Israeli martial art but I’m not Israeli. I’m in Bedstuy too. You don’t like it here? I love it! A children’s book huh? I wrote one in college (never published) but I would love to publish one, one day. Very cool!
He responds:
Na it’s pretty wack in bedstuy.No resturants or any decent bars other than the Myrtle ave strip and even that’s contrived.The neighborhood is just black or white… No grey area. It’s either Hipster hell and bad hygiene 0r Ghetto black and dangerous lol. I saved my cheesy but mild mannered neighbor from two houses away when 3 young black kids attacked him like vultures for his skinny bike.needles too say 5swings of the bat an all was peacefully in the valley.I had a busted lip but no worse for ware &steve kept his bike but didn’t jump in to help me , it was a wacky nite.living in sheapshead bay Which is basically a large Italian/Russian American neighborhood with some smaller pockets of Asian /Hispanic and middle eastern.each ethnicity had a local resturant and specific ethnic specialty stores. Here in bedstuy it’s kinda shity to say the least.However one plus is I live rite by (*insert name of a liquor store here*) so that’s kinda dope to have a kool local liquor store. What do you like about Dead-stuy ?
I can’t. His constant references to race kill me. His spelling and punctuation SUCK and he’s so angry and negative. I enjoy a good bitch session as much as the next one, but this is too much. He has yet to say one positive thing (except maybe about his dog ).

I showed his messages to a friend over dinner and drinks the other night, and we were poking fun of how angry this guy seems. I jokingly said that I really wanted to say ‘tell me why ya mad son’ after his first comment. She thought that was hilarious and convinced me to send it – although after a few drinks it didn’t take much convincing. My exact words:

oh ok. wow. tell me why ya’ mad, son

I haven’t heard back from him yet.


6 thoughts on “les miserables

  1. Do you belong to any of these dating services that you have to pay to belong to? I wonder if the quality of men is better on them? I figure for free most guys are on for the slim chance that they might get laid.

    Sent from Karen’s iPhone.

  2. WOW he refers to race waaaaaaaay too much. He’s icky and sounds prejudice. I get the worst vibes off reading his stuff. Also, the quality is better on paid sites. There are still weirdos but not nearly as bad as the free ones. I’ve tested this theory (at least in las vegas.)

      • To piggyback off you and Vegas, not all paid sites are equal, at least in my experience. I tried Match and eHarmony, and got very similar results to OKCupid and POF honestly. The matches on eHarmony are way better, but you get extremes – either not physically a match or not a match in anything else. Match had the broadest range but still produced mostly guys wanting to get laid. Granted, none like the guy you post about here – he is something special, that’s for sure. Kinda scary knowing he lives in the same area you do.

      • Yeah that’s what a friend if mine said who did one if the paid ones – either they were unattractive or not compatible. I tried chemistry for a month (I had a one month groupon) and there was not ONE guy they matched me with that I found attractive. Maybe one day I’ll give another site a try…

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