the freaks come out online

I joined a free online dating site a few months ago. Since I wasn’t having any luck meeting men the old fashioned way (bars, libraries, cafe’s, street corners) I decided to give the virtual dating world a try.

Also I promised my friends I’d do it if I didn’t get a date by the end of the summer…sigh.

Now, almost 6 months later, my love life is still non-existent, but I do have an inbox full of funny (and sometimes scary) messages, and a growing number of interesting first date stories. Of course I have zero second date stories…but I’m working on it.

Here are some of my favorite messages thus far…

 

Hey what’s up I’m looking for some one with they head right I’n my area that I can spend some time with get our head right together if that’s you hit me up boo
I’m pretty sure this guy pronounces area, ERRrea. Just  a hunch.
is curiosity to see a gf with another guy really that abnormal?… just started doubting myself and wanted your opinion
Ummm…..???
Would you like to be my open ended friend?
I don’t even know what that means.
Hello, you are very beautiful and if I was a rich man, I would buy you a pearl necklace. But I’m not, so all I have to offer you is my charming personality. Now to tell you a little about myself. My name is L***. I am a 32 yr. old retired artist/writer who is just trying to find his way in the world. I am a modern old fashioned man trapped in old fashioned modern world. I try to make sense to people with no sense in a nonsense world, but with no luck what I say doesn’t make sense to people with no sense who rather believe in nonsense, if that make sense to you. I’m a non-believer and an overachiever, who believes he has yet to achieve what I believe that I can achieve, if you can believe. Let’s talk sometime, get to know each other and stuff like that.
A 32 year old retired artist / writer?? C’mon dude, you’re unemployed. Let’s just be real. And Pearls? Really? If you were a rich man, I’d hope you’d at least offer to buy me diamonds.
 
December 20, 2012: Would you like to fall in love with me?
January 25, 2013: I love you
No thank you. And yes, these are both from the same person.
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